I spent last night cleaning up throw up and diarrhea. Last night we came home from our date around 10 pm. While David took the babysitter home, I went to check on the kids and decided to take Anya to the bathroom just in case she didn't go to the bathroom before bed. She is sitting on the toilet with her eyes closed and says "I have to go to the bathroom." I said "You are on the potty already." Then she makes a strange sound and starts to throw up. Now, you have to imagine this. I am helping to hold her on the toilet because she is mostly asleep. When she starts to throw up, my unfortunate response is to push her face away from mine. She landed in the toilet, folded in two and threw up in her lap - only spraying my face. I'm not sure if I should feel bad for pushing my child into the toilet or be relieved that she didn't throw up in my face. :) Anyway, I cleaned her up and sent her to bed, making sure to let David know how good he had it, only taking Rachel home. Then I decided to go get ready for bed my self.
No sooner had I sat down on that hallowed throne than I hear "MOMMY!" I shot out of that bathroom as fast as I could, but I was too late. Large amounts of disgusting stuff that I will not describe were to be found from her room to the bathroom. I stood at the door wondering how to reach her without stepping in the aforementioned piles. As I stood there, she continued to spew. Again, I wondered what kind of mother I was as I stood there at a safe distance. I contemplated holding her and supporting her while the vile stuff continued to come out, but I am really adverse to being covered in that kind of stuff!!! Anyway, it took a dustpan, steam vac, many rags and cleaning supplies, 1 husband and an hour to get the bathroom back into working order.
Now, I'll bet you are hoping that is the end of the story. Well, it's not. An hour later, having finally dropped off to sleep I find myself running to a child who is shouting my name in panic. I grab her and race her to the bathroom. Being smarter this time, I put my hand over her mouth so that I don't have to clean up the carpet again. Have you ever noticed that it is a lot easier to clean vomit off your own body than out of carpet fibers?
This went on for the rest of the night. Every hour. (Yes, she did have a bowl, but it took her a while to catch on.) After five throw up episodes her body decided to clean out the other end. We switched from wiping her face to wiping her bottom and changing panty after panty.
And that is why I love being a parent.
